Painful Realization
by jadedvixen
Summary: Shallow breaths and salty tears: her reaction to the kiss between the lovely blonde and the southern gentleman... -COMPLETED-


Title: Painful Realization.  
  
Author: Cathie McMath. (email: penrithpanther_03@yahoo.com.au)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with the WWE. I don't own the song "Brilliant Dance" by Dashboard Confessional. Hah, you think I'm that talented?  
  
Summary: A small sorta song fic about the Trish and Jeff kiss on RAW (18-03-03).   
  
Rating: PG. A clean one.  
  
TimeLine: Now. March 2003.  
  
Distribution: Just email me and let me know if you'd like to have it.  
  
Author's Note: I highly recommend having "Brilliant Dance" by Dashboard Confessional playing in the background as you read this fic. I knew I wanted to write something about the whole Trish/Jeff thing, but this song totally inspired me. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Leave me a review and let me know what you think.  
  
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[So this is odd...the painful realization that all has gone wrong... And nobody cares at all, and nobody cares at all...]  
  
The redhead sat on the couch in the empty locker room, her hazel eyes transfixed to the television screen that sat on a table in front of her. She watched as the images played across the screen, her heart beats quickening as a replay showed, her stomach rolling inside of her as she watched what had happened moments earlier one more time.  
  
Drawing her breaths in quickly, she felt something wet roll down her cheek. Never taking her eyes off the screen, she drew her hand up to her face, then pulling it away and studying her fingers. They were wet. Was she actually... crying? She licked her lips, and immediatly tasted the familiar sensation of salty tears on her lips. Yes, she was crying. But no, damn it. She wasn't supposed to cry. She was supposed to be strong. That was who she was. The strong one. Damn, she sure as hell didn't feel strong at the moment.  
  
Her vision blurred, clouded by the tears that formed in her eyes. Her ears were filled with the sound of King and Jim Ross commentating on the event, and shakily, she reached towards the monitor and switched the power off. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to see it. She didn't want to believe it had just happened.  
  
It was all so surreal. One minute he had been there beside her, watching the broadcast with her on the couch. They were talking, laughing, having a great time - just like they normally did when they were together. Then the next minute, he had rushed off to the ring, in a hurry to save her.   
  
[...So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote... but it doesn't make it any better... Does it make it any better?... And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss... reminds you that the memories will fade...]  
  
The young woman pushed her long hair behind her ears as she sat on the couch, her soft sobs echoing in the empty room. It didn't bother her that he ran out there to save her. That was just the type of guy he was. He wasn't one who could sit by and watch a woman get hurt, and not try and help her. So when he rushed out, she really wasn't bothered. It wasn't until he had cleared the ring, and began to help the blonde woman up that she felt the queasiness rise up in her stomach.  
  
It was something in the way he held her, something in the way she held him back. Something that reminded her of the way that they had held each other.. once. That was what had set off the alarm bells. And then, as they leant their foreheads together, she knew what was about to happen. She knew him too well. So many years of friendship gave her that insight. So many years of intimacy allowed her to know what was running through his head. Still. That didn't make it hurt any less.  
  
It had only taken a second for them to break her heart. One quick, rushed second. She literally felt her heart crumble in her chest as she watched them. Together, holding each other. Dear God, she felt as if she was being torn up inside as she watched them. She wondered if either of them knew how much this was hurting her. Probably not. They were both her friends... yet she was sure neither of them knew how much this tore her up inside.  
  
[...So this is strange... our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance where nobody leads at all... where nobody leads at all...]   
  
The tears kept running down her cheeks, dripping off her chin and onto her t-shirt. There was now wet drops on her clothes, but what did that matter? She couldn't stop these tears from flowing now. Because she knew now. She knew that it was over.  
  
They had been so good together. Best friends turned to lovers. It was the most natural feeling in the entire world, to take their relationship to the next level. And it had been bliss. While they were together, the whole world stopped for them. They were all that mattered. The months that they spent together had been the best months of her life - and she thought the best of his too. Yet not long ago now - a month, to be exact - it had ended. He came to her house, and told her that it was over.  
  
She cried. As soon as she saw the look on his face, the look in his eyes. She knew has soon as he came to the door that it was over. She could see it. The fire wasn't in his eyes. The fire that normally burned in them whenever he looked at her. It was all gone. The fire in his eyes, the smile from his lips.. all gone.   
  
He told her it wasn't her fault.. it was his. He needed to get his shit together. He was, what was the word that he used? Conflicted. He wasn't quite sure what he felt for anyone about anything anymore. All he knew was that things between them had changed, and that he couldn't be with her any longer.  
  
[...And the picture frames are facing down... and the ringing from this empty sound... is deafening and keeping you from sleep... And breathing is a foreign task... and thinking's just too much to ask... and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights...]  
  
He wanted them to stay friends. Best friends. Still be able to talk to each other about anything. She was reluctant at first, but she didn't want to push him out of her life. She wanted to keep him as close to her as she possibly could, so she accepted. "Best friends." She agreed. Just like old times. Except it wasn't like old times. She still loved him - and he didn't love her. Not the same way.  
  
She tried to calm her weeping now, worried that someone walking past may hear her and come in to see what was wrong. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She didn't need their sympathy. All she needed was -- him. She cried more tears, unable to hold back the sorrow that coursed through her body as the image of them together in the ring flashed under her eyelids.  
  
Stupidly, she had thought that maybe all he needed was time. Time from what, she wasn't sure. But time. She had thought if she just gave him some space, let him figure out what was going on inside that head of his.. he'd come back to her, and everything would be right once more. But tonight had given her a painful realization.  
  
She stood up, and exited the women's locker room, making her way down the hall towards the bathroom. She needed to go and clean herself up. She was sure that her eyes were red and swollen, and that her face was streaked with tears. Walking towards the bathroom, she saw a flash of blonde out of the corner of her eye. Keeping her eyes facing forward, she heard a girlish giggle. Then a soft, southern voice.  
  
She turned to the voices, standing across the other side of the backstage area. Big mistake. there she saw the small blonde being held in his arms, giggling as he whispered something in her ear.  
  
[...This is incredible... Starving... insatiable... yes... this is love for the first time... Well you'd like to think that you were invincible...Yeah... well weren't we all once... before we felt loss for the first time?... Well this is the last time...]  
  
Turning to face forward once more, she ran to the bathroom, trying desperately to purge the image of Jeff and Trish holding each other out of her head. As she crashed into the bathroom door, flinging herself into a stall and collapsing on the floor with tears, Lita realized that her and Jeff were over.  
  
[... This is the last time...]  
  
For good.  
  
(THE END) 


End file.
